My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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