i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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