hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
