Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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