omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
As shirtless as possible
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
