Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
