You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
