I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
