The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
