thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
