Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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