I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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