He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
