a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
