did you get engaged???
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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