**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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