guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
