ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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