yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
