He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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