Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
