Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
