Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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