Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
