my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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