i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize