using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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