I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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