Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
