He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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