I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
