I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
