Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize