My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize