his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
