i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
