I'm gonna have a badass scar
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
