Who did Billy Mays play for?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
pray to the hookup gods
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
