spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize