turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
