where does the pee come out of this thing
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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