i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
