is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
