So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no you cant smoke seaweed
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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