marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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