areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
