Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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