he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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