with your own penis?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
