I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
