I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
