in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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