"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
