I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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