Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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