Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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