drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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