Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize