Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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