Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize