Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize