There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize