Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
