He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
