if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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