They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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